The journey of my learning and teaching English

I have learned English for almost 20 years, since the very first day I entered  junior school. At that time, the learning condition was beyond imagination.  No tape recorder, no walkman, no English channel, no qualified English teachers in my hometown. I did not remember clearly why I was infatuated with   English. Back when I was a middle school student, my favorite subject was  Chinese, I was proud of my compositions, which were often read to the whole class as "model essays" It is a pity that I didn't turn out to be a famous writer, my talent at writing was submerged before it surfaced.     When I told my students that my first English teacher was a man who has acted as an interpreter for the Japanese army when they invaded China, they burst out laughing, they did not take what I said seriously, but actually I was telling the truth! His major is Japanese. It is my senior high school teacher who encouraged to take up English as my major.(You know, at that time, it was a hard decision to make, I was dreaming of being a writer and winning Nobel Literature Prize for China!) To tell the truth, I am personally grateful for him, he has been so generous to me as to offer to share his apartment with me to save me much inconvenience. Moreover, he let me choose my own way of learning, which was very rare at that time. And the sad fact is that I often cut him short and made him embarrassed by asking him tricky or silly questions, with which he was always tolerant. Since my primary school day, I had developed the habit of airing my views whenever it occurred to me.      I entered a just so-so college majoring English, two years of learning English offered a good beginning. As time went by, my memory of college years blurred, but some scenes do stand out, I was nicknamed by my head teacher as" living dictionary", whenever I went ,  I carried a pocket-sized dictionary with me. I spent most of evenings in school library reading China Daily, Beijing Review, copying those unfamiliar words on a piece of paper and later consulted them in dictionary. When my roommates were playing cards or courting girls, I buried myself in English or Chinese periodicals.(so you see, my college life was dull rather than colorful!) My speaking skill didn't develop as my reading skills. I still remembered the first time I was asked to read a short passage to the whole class, I was so nervous! Shame, once properly handled, can sometimes turn out to be a disguised blessing, I decided to improve my pronunciation and intonation, which was the hard part of the battle, I bought many tapes, listened to VOA, BBC every evening and read New Concept English in the morning. My efforts, at last, paid off more or less. When it was time to say goodbye to my college, my dean, who is almost as obscure as my small college, said to me, “learning is a lifelong process, college is not the final destination. If anyone keeps on reading English magazines or newspapers for 20 years, he is sure to become a master or an expert in this field!’ Looking at the old professor with gray hair and thick glasses,  I thought these were words from the bottom of his hearts, I set up my mind to speak good English. This has been my college life. I have found it worth living, and would gladly live it again if the chances were offered to me. Looking back, I don't complain that life was not fair to me, instead, I thank all those people who have stepped into my life and gave me a hand when I needed. I appreciate all their timely help and unselfish aid.   Now I have stepped into the real world, I got a job far away from my hometown, teaching kids English. Although working pressure was heavy, I enjoyed my job anyway. During my spare time, I locked myself in the study. It happened that Li Yang Crazy English began to spread throughout China; I couldn't wait to lay my hands on books and materials of Crazy English. After reading Li Ying's story, I was deeply touched.         At that time, I had no girl friend to flatter, no family to support, it is easy for me to focus on something which interested me. My dean words still lingered in my mind "Learning is a lifelong process; college is not the final destination” Since I was fairly started in English learning, there was no excuse to give up or turn back. I began to read English novels, altogether, I have read about 20 English novels, Jane Eyre, Gone with  the wind, the thorn bird, the Wuthering heights, Godfather, the White whale, The adventure of Tom Sawyer, to name just a few. To be frank, I could not understand everything in the novels, but I just kept on. Step by step, I began to better appreciate the beauty of the language while enjoying those stories. I also read some easy readings such as 21st century, English saloon or some simplified novels. You know, One can easily get upset or bored when you reach a kind of "plateau", so you have to encourage yourself by all possible means to ensure that you have a sense of achievement.      It took me almost 2 years to finish reading those 20 novels, some of which I only covered half or less. At the same time, I took the self- study courses in English and graduated with excellence. To my amazement, I was able to think in English, if I wanted to express myself in English, I didn't have to think of any Chinese first. This, I think, was a great step forward and it was also the result of years of enthusiastic, continuous and hard work, which anyone who has no determination can ever achieve. Someone said,” The most important thing in life is to have a great aim and the determination to attain it.” I am a strong believer of it. One interesting fact I like to cite here is I was always dreaming in English during that crazy period and my roommate often played jokes on me the following day. Once I read an article by a famous professor from Nanjing University who said that students of English department in Nanjing University speak English in their dreams. Until then did I realize that he was telling truth?        Did I stop here or move on? Fortunately I got a chance to receive a two-month intensive training in England in the year 2002. It is a dream came true. I had a fabulous time there, I met so many interesting people, visited so many wonderful places, experienced so many strange adventures, but the most important thing is that I finally got a chance to speak English to real Englishmen, I made full use of the time by watching British TV, read daily mirror, Evening standard, Guardian, talk to all kinds of Englishmen with a large variety of accents. I was praised on many occasions for my English, which I suppose is just a polite way of showing their kindness, but anyway I was tickled to death by other's remarks. Being happy was one thing, and feeling motivated was     another. I resolved to speak better English to meet that praisal.Each time I was praised by others, I asked myself "Am I that good?" That is why I keep on learning English after graduation from college so many years. Teaching English is joy, learning English is fun. My work is my pleasure, It seems that I belong to those whose work and pleasure are one. I would like to say that I am never ever afraid of making mistakes and showing my weak points to others inmy English skills. I know that my English is far from perfect,. but who cares? As long as I enjoy the process of learning, I have found out the true meaning of life: Be a happy learner, be a happy man, and share happiness with others

Lights out, my dear

Yu was stung by some vicious mosquitoes. My poor, poor little baby, his plump hands, his soft cheek and his little chin were all attacked, and to the worse, the place where mosquitoes bit were swollen now. Since one of these places was right under his left eye, and it was so swollen that he could barely open his eye. I could hardly bring myself to look at his miserable face. I was afraid that the mere sight of it would throw me into a murderous rage. I am not violent type but now I wanted to catch the mosquito, and I wanted to reach down its throat, grape its small intestines, pulled it out of its mouth and tied it around its neck… literally.

But Yu was still happy and adorable like usual. His small face split into a wide smile when he spotted me through the line he worked so hard to make with his eyes----which made it even more unbearable to look at. "Did you bite by mosquito?" I asked him. To reply my question, he reached his little hand---which was also red and swollen—for me to have a better look. ”Wu, wu…” he whimpered. And I wanted to cry. My mum felt even more terrible about it. Plus worries, she also felt guilt---as if it was her fault that she couldn’t protect yu from the mosquitoes attack. Thinking about it, I gulped down my tears and put a real good face on it. “You are a very brave baby, aren't you? Don’t be afraid, my dear.” I said and gave him a real hug.

Before we were out of the parking lot, Yu already fell asleep. That was a gift he had. He never had troubles in sleeping.  And no matter how excited he was, as soon as we got the car started, he would fell asleep within a few minutes. Lights out my son. Mummy promised you that tonight there would be no mosquito bothering you.

In the Name of Love

The other day I received a call from a good friend’s girlfriend, because she found a bill to me in his purse. She asked me something about it. I told her he borrowed money from me and just returned it to me. She then asked me what’s the use of the money. I frankly told her I knew nothing about it. She accused me of lending money to him without knowing the use. I said I didn’t think I needed to ask such questions, since I knew him for a long time and trusted him. She continued to ask more about it and myself. I said: “ Why you ask me such question? ” She said，“I think I have right to know about it.” I still said with a peaceful tone “ I don’t think you have right to know about it. If he agrees me to tell you, I will tell you. If not, I won’t tell you. Because he is my friend, while I don't know you at all. I should respect him first.” The words enraged her and she lost her temper and shouted me discourteously on the phone.

“I have right to know about it.” I’m sure that this saying is familiar to us. It’s not my first time to meet a girl like this. Some girls, maybe most of the girls, think they have right to know everything about her boyfriend.

In my personal opinion, every one is independent, belonging to nobody except himself. The parents gave us our life, but cannot go through our life instead of us. The bosom friends can touch our hearts and feeling but cannot taste the happiness and bitterness in our life. Therefore, I always attach selfhood most. My life, my feeling and I just belong to myself only. In my inner belief , for me, I should be responsible for myself ; and for the others, I should respect him, including his feeling, his choice and his life. I hate everyone who thinks he has right to know everything about other people, to interfere others’s choices and to invade others’ personal spaces.

It’s said that pesons are like hedgehogs in need of warmess. If we are too far away, we can’t get warmness from each other. If we are too close, the thorns over our body will hurt each other. Therefore, the perfect distance between persons is neither too far way nor too close. We should care for, believe and contain each other, and above all, we should leave each other a personal time and space.

However, a lot of persons are aways against the rule. During our childhood, a lot of parents request their children what to do and what not to do, even impose their will on the children. Generally the parents choose the school, the major and even the way of the future for the children. Since we are little child, we are told to do whatever adults tell us to do. Increasingly we lose the ability of listening to our inner heart and just do whatever others tell us to do. That’s why we lose the ability of innovation, which is the largest power and motivation for our civilization. For inviduals it causes our spirit world becoming vacuous and boring, since we don’t know what we want and what we are intersted in and what we can do. We don’t know where our heart is. Gradually we lose the zest and interest of life, which is the major reason for high suicide. In some way, this is a kind of hurt, in the name of love.

To make matter worse, few persons look through this matter. We are hurt when we are children. We hurt others when we grow up. When we are in love, we take the right for granted that to contol our lover’s everything, including his choice, his money, his socienty relationship, and even his feeling, as my friend’s girlfriend said, “I have right to know about it.” When we are parents, we follow the same way as our parents. We think we have right to interfere other people, who is intimate and important in our heart. As a familiar saying, that’s because I love you. Therefore, in the name of love, we hurt our most intimate person without guilt. However, as a famous writer Gaoersiji said, even a hen can love his own children, but most of all, how to love. Everyone can love other people, however, the way to show love is the most important. If a love cannot make each other feel safe, comfortable and inspiring, it is an unhealthy love which should die and cannot survive. We love just we want warmness and comfort. It’s the obligation that we should stand on each other’s point and try our best to give each other this kind of feeling.

A true love is an unconditional love in which pay without thought of gain; a sincere love is a selfless love in which thinking about others rather than himself; a healthy love is a comfortable love which contain concern rather than interposition, communication rather than inquest, respect rather than interference, help rather than substitute, toleration rather than nit-pick.

I am back!

I haven’t updated my blog for a long time, but I felt extremely happy and calm when I saw today that there were so many supporters to read my diary, my life. Thank you!

After last interview which was described last article, I attended my second interview in a company which is called “Guangzhou SurExam Bio-Tech Company” in Science City, Guangzhou on Jan’3rd. My BF and I went there on Jan’ 2^nd to ensure I could get good preparation the next day. In fact, I like this company when I first saw it and my critical BF also has the same feeling. I thought that I prepared this interview well, and I successfully passed five turns interviews at last. You know, I indeed felt that I am one of the luckiest girls in this world. I never ask my company about the salary though my employer said that I could ask some questions about this job, because I know that I am always the student in the university, and in fact, I am lack of society experience. Because of my heavy experiment job and I love this company, and then I didn’t deliver any resume to any other place.

I arrived at my home to enjoy my spring festive on Feb’ 8^th, and I got back my university on Feb’20^th. I always have the pressure of my graduation and paper, therefore, I didn’t live my life well these months. You know, I must worry about my experiments, extremely the result was not as good as I predicted before.

I found that it is difficult to express myself now because I wrote few recently, but I will try my best. I would like to say something about my love affair. My BF Gary and I quarreled once seriously in March, and at that moment, I nearly left him alone. Fortunately, he found that it was his fault immediately, and after two days anger, I accept his apology finally. Frankly speaking, I was also responsible for that quarrel, but my BF loves me more and made us regain our happy life. Now, some of my classmates still ask me such questions like why I chose him as my boyfriend because few girls could accept BF’s height is lower than them. As for me, I don’t think that is necessary for two people’s relationship. There is a saying that beauty is the eyes of the beholder. It is true. I like him, he is so cute.Haha.

A large number of my friends envy me that I have found a job, had a darling boyfriend, and I would graduate in advance. Yeah, compared to them, I indeed have too many kind people in my life, that is my fortune. I think that I should always think about these fortunate things and kind people so that I could move on no matter how difficult my situation is.

There is one thing which I consider more and carefully than before. That is parents are the most important people in my life, though I always make them angry. For example, I never get up early and always get up at noon when I enjoy holidays at home no matter whether somebody will visit us. I must treat Dad and Mom well in my future life to pay back their devotion on my growth. I am looking forward to one day that I could make money to buy something for them. I know that, that day is coming!

The last dinner

Last week, on mutual agreement, David and I packed our traveling bag and got on the bus heading for Qufu, the sacred city where the great philosopher Confucius once lived and studied. It’s about 20minutes’ travel. Usually, with nowhere to go, we just choose to hang around the neighboring towns or cities on weekends. There, we spent a happy day strolling around rows of fancy souvenir shops and art galleries. It was not until dark that we remembered to came back. It was 7 a.m. when we got off the bus. David suggested we have dinner in a Sichuan Hotpot Restaurant, explaining that the mutton would provide me with more energy and warm my stiff body. On hearing this, I breathed hard on my palms and rubbed my hands.

The moment David set our luggage aside, I opened the menu and began my selection. I ordered three plates of mutton, one plate of beef and some vegetables, including potato slices, spinach, and onions. David added some frozen tofu, shrimps and a plate of dumplings. Later, a waitress came over with a kettle. She took the menu and poured some white liquid into the pot, which was prefixed on the table. Then she switched the gas on and adjusted the fire. No sooner had the soup started to bubble than I put some potato slices in and stired. I bet I could eat an ox then! Noticing my nervous expression, David chuckled under his breath. I suppose he must be hungry as well, but he is a guy who always maintains his composure whatever. As the soup boiled over, David turned down the gas and put in some slices of mutton. Then began the race to scoop up meat from the pot. The mutton should be fished out with a high speed, otherwise it will go tough.

During the next hour, we just enjoyed our share of food separately, not bothering to care about each other. I managed to ladle some soup to David’s bowl, but was refused with a serious look. “Take care, You mustn’t burn yourself!” I moved my mouth to one side, convincing that our relationship changed much after marriage. There are not many formalities or trifles, and polite remarks are left out. If we do need to exchange views, we just speak it out bluntly. I wonder if it is an intimacy or estrangement. But in the last year when we were dating each other, we always ended up in a fancy restaurant. Every time we sat face to face, David and I would stand on ceremony. When a new dish came, I pushed it to his side, and then he pushed back, teasing his arm is longer than mine. David is humorous. Maybe as time goes by, we become much closer. Our relationship is far beyond the simple connection between husband and wife, but transforms into the affection among family members. David loves me so much and I too.

Finally, we each have had our stomach full. Not expecting to waste a grain, I took up my chopsticks and forced a few morsels in. David put down his fork and leaned back, “Emma, I must tell you something important.”

“What is it?” I looked up, surprised.

“Would you go back home and spend a few days with your parents?” David assumed a serious look.

“Why?” My voice a little blurred, I feel my heart pounding hard.

“I will be away on a business trip. Maybe you prefer to stay with your parents.” David responded in a feigned flat tone.

Heaving a long sigh, I felt relaxed. I had thought …

People hate David just because he always purposely makes a mystery of simple things. I realized he just intended to make me a fool. I replied in a casual way, “Certainly, you can go anywhere you like. This is our last dinner.” We both smiled. 

YOU ARE OLD

Well,just finish all the job, edit all the essays, especial the one which is so，well,how to say , writing with  qinzhou dialect.......

e,the most bad feeling of these days is that I really find that "I'm old".......It's a terrible thing that you have to face the reality that you are old......I saw the videos that tell us that people will have a new body every two years.....so I think my body must have deteriorated badly in the last two years......bec I feel very uncomfortable since stay up late for two or three days ,which never happen before......So I think that may the body teel me that"YOU ARE OLD" ........It's a pity thing

colors of friendship

Once upon a time the colors of the world started to quarrel.
All claimed that they were the best.
The most important.
The most useful.
The favorite.
Green said:
"Clearly I am the most important. I am the sign of life and of hope. I was chosen for grass, trees and leaves. Without me, all animals would die. Look over the countryside and you will see that I am in the majority." 　
Blue interrupted:
"You only think about the earth, but consider the sky and the sea. It is the water that is the basis of life and drawn up by the clouds from the deep sea. The sky gives space and peace and serenity. Without my peace, you would all be nothing." 　
Yellow chuckled:
"You are all so serious. I bring laughter, gaiety, and warmth into the world. The sun is yellow, the moon is yellow, the stars are yellow. Every time you look at a sunflower, the whole world starts to smile. Without me there would be no fun." 　
Orange started next to blow her trumpet:
"I am the color of health and strength. I may be scarce, but I am precious for I serve the needs of human life. I carry the most important vitamins. Think of carrots, pumpkins, oranges, mangoes, and papayas. I don't hang around all the time, but when I fill the sky at sunrise or sunset, my beauty is so striking that no one gives another thought to any of you." 　
Red could stand it no longer he shouted out:
"I am the ruler of all of you. I am blood - life's blood! I am the color of danger and of bravery. I am willing to fight for a cause. I bring fire into the blood. Without me, the earth would be as empty as the moon. I am the color of passion and of love, the red rose, the poinsettia and the poppy." 　
Purple rose up to his full height:
He was very tall and spoke with great pomp: "I am the color of royalty and power. Kings, chiefs, and bishops have always chosen me for I am the sign of authority and wisdom. People do not question me! They listen and obey." 　
Finally Indigo spoke, much more quietly than all the others, but with just as much determination:
"Think of me. I am the color of silence. You hardly notice me, but without me you all become superficial. I represent thought and reflection, twilight and deep water. You need me for balance and contrast, for prayer and inner peace." 　　
And so the colors went on boasting, each convinced of his or her own superiority. Their quarreling became louder and louder. Suddenly there was a startling flash of bright lightening thunder rolled and boomed. Rain started to pour down relentlessly. The colors crouched down in fear, drawing close to one another for comfort.
In the midst of the clamor, rain began to speak:
"You foolish colors, fighting amongst yourselves, each trying to dominate the rest. Don't you know that you were each made for a special purpose, unique and different? Join hands with one another and come to me." 　
Doing as they were told, the colors united and joined hands.
The rain continued:
"From now on, when it rains, each of you will stretch across the sky in a great bow of color as a reminder that you can all live in peace. The Rainbow is a sign of hope for tomorrow." And so, whenever a good rain washes the world, and a Rainbow appears in the sky, let us remember to appreciate one another.